Category Archives: 5.4 How to Run a Good Meeting

Resources on Active Listening

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Of the many free online resources available on Active Listening, I enjoyed John Grohol’s helpful, readable article, which touches on the several aspects of this essential modern-day skill in a point-by-point format.  The U.S. State Department also has a fine, brief summary; I liked the State Department’s emphasis on the use of silence — which, in contrast to Grohol, does not always need to be a comfortable silence.  Sometimes a slightly uncomfortable silence is the best way to encourage a person to say more.  Finally, the University of Colorado Boulder returns with a useful article including many links for further reading.

I recommend a study of Active Listening to every professional who deals with people.  Active Listening is an essential skill set for therapists, teachers, diplomats and police, but even if your job doesn’t center around listening, Active Listening skills come up constantly in all of our professional and personal lives.

Integrative Negotiation: Positions and Interests

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The first resource on integrative negotiation, positions and interests should be William Ury, Roger Fisher and Bruce Patton’s classic Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement without Giving In.  A close second would be Ury’s sequel Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult Situations.  I strongly recommend these two books to the professional library of every negotiator.

Free online explanations of interests and positions are plentiful and can be found with a search.  Among the better articles I came across are these by Cinnie Noble, the University of Colorado Boulder, the U.S. Institute of Peace, and Watershed Associates; I liked the latter’s many helpful charts.  Note the ubiquity of the orange story (and the lack of citation of it — if only I knew who originated it!).

“Get Your Potatoes Out of My Pigs!”

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No book on nonprofit governance would be complete without a digression into the Pig War, the last incident of military hostility between the United States and the United Kingdom, over a territorial dispute.  I love this story because nobody was actually killed, and after the two nations’ militaries passed the 12 years of standoff playing sports with each other, they finally had their dispute arbitrated by Kaiser Wilhelm, who was chosen as a mutually acceptable neutral party.  If only all territorial disputes could end this amicably!

Don’t take my word for it; look at the Wikipedia article at the least.

The story is that the U.S. and U.K. both claimed the San Juan Islands, between the mainland of the Province of British Columbia and the State of Washington.  Farmers of both nationalities settled the island, and were policed by their respective police forces.  Things were all right until one fine day, about which I quote from Wikipedia:

On June 15, 1859, exactly thirteen years after the adoption of the Oregon Treaty, the ambiguity led to direct conflict. Lyman Cutlar, an American farmer who had moved onto the island claiming rights to live there under the Donation Land Claim Act, found a large black pig rooting in his garden.[2][6][8] He had found the pig eating his tubers. This was not the first occurrence. Cutlar was so upset that he took aim and shot the pig, killing it. It turned out that the pig was owned by an Irishman, Charles Griffin, who was employed by the Hudson’s Bay Company to run the sheep ranch.[2][6][8] He also owned several pigs that he allowed to roam freely. The two had lived in peace until this incident. Cutlar offered $10 to Griffin to compensate for the pig, but Griffin was unsatisfied with this offer and demanded $100. Following this reply, Cutlar believed he should not have to pay for the pig because the pig had been trespassing on his land. (A possibly apocryphal story claims Cutlar said to Griffin, “It was eating my potatoes.” Griffin replied, “It is up to you to keep your potatoes out of my pig.”[8]) When British authorities threatened to arrest Cutlar, American settlers called for military protection.

And from there history was made.  Henry Martyn Robert himself served in the U.S. military during the Pig War.  I can only imagine the scene.  Were there points of order?  Did Robert develop the intricacies of his Rules during tense, decorous meetings with his British counterparts over the rules of volleyball?  I’m sorry, I just love the Pig War.  Let me know if you’re reenacting it.  To my very good friends who are British, I say: Get your potatoes out of my pigs!  Fifty-four forty or fight!  🙂